The "No Duh" Cash Shop Overhaul (Free Sass Included!)

With itemization on the horizon, I wanted to provide my feedback on the cash shop in the vain hope they’ll fix that sometime in the future. A lot of these have been noted before, no doubt, but I would like to present them again, because I’m insane and think that’ll make a difference.

This is coming from, hopefully, a player on the upper end of the “Willingness-to-pay-for-overpriced-digital-fluff” scale (I believe the term is “Whale” but I prefer “Level 7 Susceptible” in moonman terms), as I’ve spent a few hundred dollars on darktide cosmetics as is.

And I’m saying, those are rookie numbers fatshark. Paladins, Bloody Paladins, got more money out of me than that. In the wise words of Steve Harwell, lead singer of the band Smash Mouth (may he rest in peace) “If you’re going to do wrong, you better do it right” ~Better Do It Right, “Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas” OST (2000)

You’re leaving money on the floor, here’s how I think you could pick it back up:

Easy Fix: When selling a “Variant” of an existing cosmetic, if the player has a version in their inventory, offer the new one at half price. I might be a fool, but I am not a “Buys the same thing twice” kinda fool. This should apply to slight model tweaks and recolors.

Easy Fix: Bundle “Premium” sets (The one you charge an extra arm and a leg for) with at least a title. Titles are the easiest thing to add, being just a text string, so you should be giving these out more often. While I cannot speak for others, I can safely say I’m a sucker for a good title. I would also recommend adding poses/emotes as well. If you are charging premium prices, I expect to receive a bunch of extra garbage with my purchase. Hell, even the actual clothes I buy come with a sticker and a nice “Thank You” card. Where’s my “Thank You” card, Fatshark!?

Easy Fix: Double the Loadouts. More loadouts = more mannequins I can dress up. Simple as. If each one of my loadouts is “fire af” then I am less likely to purchase additional cosmetics, as I’d have to replace the existing ones that I already like.

Hard Fix: If the only difference between a paid item and stock is a different color/pattern, then it belongs in the docket shop. This is a hard fix, because I know how hard it must be to give up even one cent, but trust me this is for the best in the long run. If you must, recolor an existing paid model and not the stock models. The work of your art interns belongs on the fridge, not sold for money.

Overhaul: Each cosmetic item should be broken up into smaller component parts (Being Primary Color, Secondary Color, Pattern, and at least Helm/Visor/Face for headpieces) and allow for more mixing and matching. If I see an item with a nice model but horrid colors, I ain’t buying. But if I know I can swap out said colors, then you’ve got a sale. In fact, I’m likely to buy such things even if I don’t like any part, just in case I might use a component in the future. This would also increase the perceived value of every item, as instead of just “A hat” it’s actually a hat, two colors and a pattern. You could even offer a slight discount if the player owns an existing color/pattern.

If you are concerned about clipping, simply have the selection of certain cosmetics “Grey Out” other, incompatible ones. Also, don’t be concerned about clipping. It’s literally the last thing you should be concerned about. Save yourself the effort and let us make freaks.

There are mods out there that do an extremely good job of this, so you gotta up your game if you expect people smarter than me to keep paying (IF I had even just one more braincell, I might never buy another digital cosmetic ever again, consider yourself lucky I ain’t that bright).

Overhaul: Add a “Special Order” item catalogue. It contains every cosmetic sold to date, at a markup. This would then make the normal rotation a “Sale” rotation. If anyone complains, say it’s “lore accurate”. Someone’s bound to buy that.

When combined with the previous overhaul, it would allow players to purchase specific colors/patterns at extreme cost. Surely you’d be able to convince the corpos pulling on yer strings that charging folks a buck for each individual shade of yellow would increase quarterly earnings. If that fails, might I recommend offering them a pumpkin or some cooked broccoli? I hear pigs love that stuff. (If your execs are less “Capitalist Pigs” and more “Fat Cats” Consider a saucer of milk as substitution).

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