[Joke] new conditions suggestions

  • Mutants’ Mutiny: uh oh, some slipped mutant juice in your rations, there is a chance for allies to randomly turn into mutants for a short duration (ogryns have double the chance, cause they eat a lot)

  • Flamer convention: You crashed the wrong party, flamers spawn rate increased by 1000%.

  • 360 no scope: the level is infested with snipers, snipers aim and shoot 75% faster.

  • Gas Leak: health depletes over time, hope you brought a mask.

  • Hunting grounds: this one is silly, but, more hounds I guess.

  • Ogryn boot camp: chaos ogryns have boot camps around this time of year, all enemies are ogryns.

  • Blinding lights: AAAHHHHH MY EYES.

  • Traitor: One of your teammates is traitor, and can kill anyone out of the coherency range of other allies (oooh sussy).

  • Hunting grounds 2: More hounds, but they are invisible and silent till they get a close to you.

  • Battle cocktail: You were administered a brand new experimental battle cocktail, you will perform much better in battle* (*Side effects include but are not limited to: visual hallucinations, puking, blindness, and instant death)

  • Hunting grounds 3: hounds with pox burster’s tied to their backs.

  • Hunting grounds 4: Smaller hounds that bite you then run away, they always spawn in your blind spot.

  • Hunting grounds 5: Bigger hounds that swallow you then spit you out into a death pit.

  • Hunting grounds 6: One immortal hound that attacks when you aren’t looking.

Thank you all for reading, fatshark, please add, thaaaanks.


Snipers 360 no scope you quite often already, come round a corner and bam. literally within 2 seconds, faster than you can register, and their followup shot almost as fast. Server lag doesn’t help

already have that, it’s a nightmare and I activley avoid those maps, struggle to dodge them already

May I introduce you to the surge staff? Tried it myself, I am not photosensitive, but my head was hurting afterwards, plus its really hard to see around you when you’re charging it up.

This is already a thing. Not unusual to get rekt by a sneaky hound.



Hunting Grounds 7 - Hounds have skateboards do tricks while you sit and watch, bring a scoreboard 0-10

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Joke? Most of those sound like they would be pretty fun.

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Sniper Hunt - All ranged enemies replaced with Snipers

Snipe Hunt - No enemies present on map, but the sound track continues to make it sound like hordes or bosses spawn on occasion (they never arrive)

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Let’s enjoy this beautiful memery before it is closed like the “Further Nerf Psyker Thread”.

Lunch time - All ammo drops are replaced with grenades.

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My bad penances thread is still around so this one should be safe, I think.

My dumb conditions:

Stummer Field - Enemy aggro range reduced, but no sound cues/effects.

Slaught Slaught Slaught - Both players and enemies cannot stop moving forwards and attacking with melee.

Emperor’s Most Humble Creatures - Both you and your enemies are 1/10th scale.

Emperor’s blades - Melee only, but you can block ranged attacks and parry projectiles back at enemies. (what constitutes as a projectile TBD).

The Floor is Lava - Most floors hurt you; climb railings, crates and barrels to survive!

Elite Elites - Increase elite enemy spawn rate, with a % chance that they spawn as a monstrosity-equivalent version.

Till Death do we part - Drains toughness then health when out of coherency. Damage taken is spread between all members in coherency.

Blood Tornadoes - It didn’t make sense in Chaos Wastes, it doesn’t have to make sense here.

Reanimation Protocols - Non-Terror enemies have a 30% chance to get back up once a short time after being killed.

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Totally Radical - Increased daemonhost spawns, some may be friendly… for a short while.

Tranq Double Dosage - Increased depressants are pumped into the air circulatory systems - 40% slower movement and attack speed unless you are wearing a rebreather or mask.

Enemy Mine - 10x enemy spawns, but factions hate and attack each other (factions are Terrors, Scabs, Dregs, Ogryns)

Contagious Carriers - Some non-elite enemies can explode in a cloud of debilitating and damaging gas.

Overcharged Circulators - Strong winds always pushing you in a randomly set direction.

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If they were optional and didn’t take up 50% of the missions on the board.

The joke is that people don’t get the joke. More poxhounds is the solution.

crash mode: the game crashes even more often
console mode: the game is capped at a “smooth” 30 or 60 fps

Amogus - beware of friendly fire

Hunting grounds 666

All enemies are hounds of varying sizes. hounds jump out of crates that you open, every objective is now hound related.
The only humanoid enemy has a gun that shoots hounds.

“Broken Comms” - Hadron keeps calling the team Good Varlets every 5 seconds on the loop.