It’s still early days, there are few mods that people are even aware of much less that they’re all rushing to play, and as yet there’s no way to even see what mods a lobby is running. You can place the blame for (any/all of) that on FS’s feet if you’re so inclined.
Personally, I see the modded realm as exactly what it was advertised as: the wild west where anything goes and a test bed for new mods. If there’s a mod that you want to play with other people right now, you’re going to need to coordinate with other humans outside of browsing the lobby finder. If you don’t have any friends to play with, you can join one of the several Discords and set up a group there.
Once the sanctioning system is done, I have high hopes that exciting mods like Perfect Dark (shout out to SkacikPL!) will be brought over to the Official Realm so more people can enjoy them.