More than 2k hours here in service of Emprah. Most on ogryn. Me tank daemonhost. Me eat whole gunline with face. Me bodyblock stinky Nurgle like wall.
Still only thing that beat my big beautiful slab body is tiny net-lady with string.
I’m tired of trapper, sah.
Sometimes she make no sound. No step. No laugh. No warning.
She behind me one cleaver length away, like ghost. Trying to steal rations?
Sometimes she grab me from thirty meters away, through two bosses, crusher pack, railing, doorframe, lag, and Emprah’s sense of justice.
No warning, just net. Just shame. Instant team wipe speedrun.
Two thousand hours. Two. Thousand.
This is thing that finally break me.
I fold. Go Nexusmods.
Me install Cackling Trappers. They very loud now.
Me install Special Tracker. I see how many are.
Me install Spidey Sense. Big arrows like shiny Ubisoft map.
Me install Psykernautics that lil’ uns call totally-not-wallhacks™.
Whole forbidden gri-moi-re. All rations spent. Only for one stupid disabler.
No fair. No fun allowed.
After mods, I turn off every enemy setting except the evil net lady.
Me not cheater but kinky net maniac cheats so it deserves special rules.
Every setting to max. Mapwide trapper vision wallhacks.
Bright magenta glow like Slaa-ne-shi rave.
I see trappers breathing ten rooms away. Somehow hear their thoughts too.
Now I camp like Call of Duty. See hallway. Aim early. She step out…
BANG! Head gone. Every fragging time. I hunt them for sport now. I swear on Emprah I will not be jumped again by silent trapper.
And before little man type “skill issue”, save breath.
Dodge? Me Ogryn. Dodge very bad and short. Hitbox biggest in game. Built like fridge with arms. Net ignore heretics and level geo-ma geo-me… frag it, it ignores walls. Listen? Can’t do. Sound either not there or buried under twelve auric specials and horde eating frends behind me.
Priority sound queue? Never met her, boss. Swedish code very smart. But mutants still scream fine yes? Twenty at once with jet engine lungs. Been deaf since beta 2023.
Fix engine, Obeseshark. Burn old Stingray spaghetti machine that drop only sound that matter. Or balance game so breaking sound system not main difficulty setting for good players.