Happy Friday all! This week’s question is:
If you could patch “real life” like a video game, what’s in your patch notes?
5 Likes
I’ll start off with some I’d appreciate!
- Added fast-travel between bed and coffee machine.
- Added an “Auto-Reschedule” feature for social nights (e.g. board games, D&D) that instantly schedules to a new convenient date for all party members.
- Fixed an exploit where pets block critical pathways during boss fights (e.g. vacuuming).
- Fixed a bug preventing a “safe place” an item has been placed from being remembered.
- Reduced damage taken from stubbed toes by 50%.
- Removed polystyrene from life.*
*Personal note: This is one of my irrational phobias and is my Kryptonite.
8 Likes
- fixed bug that cause cells to multiply with erroneous code (c*ncer)
- fixed bug that made karma not work as it should (Do good, and good things will happen)
- fixed bug that made human stripes not visible (just cause it would be funny)
6 Likes
• Added quicksave
5 Likes
- Fixed various exploits that could result in an uneven distribution of wealth
- Fixed a bug where healthy food tasted worse than unhealthy food
- Adjusted values for muscle growth and fatigue to make the Gym minigame less grindy
8 Likes
-Disable wake up in middle of night bug and restore energy to 100% after every night’s rest.
5 Likes
• Khorne Dawg’s bank account buffed.
5 Likes
• The buff to Khorne_Dawg’s bank account was unintended, it has now been fixed and is even lower than it was before.
6 Likes
- Removed second law of thermodynamics as it was deemed “too existentially terrifying”
- Humans no longer have to upkeep physical needs (eating, sleeping, waste disposal, etc.)
- Fixed a bug where politicians couldn’t be votekicked
- Fixed a bug where CEOs also counted as politicians
- Qųeer people can now teleport to their friends
6 Likes
Hey so it turns out the first word in that last bullet point there is a no-no word according to the auto-filter when it quite literally is not.
3 Likes
- removed glitch and memory leak resulting in stuttering and poor performance the day after excessive alcohol consumption.
- Removed bug where the Go To Sleep feature often fails to trigger.
- Rebalanced the exercise-to-calorific-loss ratio to enable players to maintain healthy weight easier.
- Removed bug where some players can exploit the loot gains of other players resulting in some players using the exploit to amass high levels of loot by parasitic leeching of other players.
- Added feature to prevent online stores rearranging the entire store and moving basic components from one aisle to another.
- Added feature where the debuff “common cold” can be transferred from a player to a pot plant.
- Added the “Stick it up your jumper” emote available to all players to send to others anonymously.
5 Likes
Man much as I like this I’d be scumsaving all the time.
3 Likes
Needs Bars configurable based on desired outcome.
Weight gain, weight loss, health regen, detox, physical exertion regen etc.
- Food (vitamins, minerals, protein)
- Entertainment
- Sleep
- Social needs
etc.
Data scaner upgrade for Eyes:
Apple [Fruit]
Calories (Kcals) X%, Water X%, Minerals X% - Dropdown list, Impurities: Dropdown list. etc.
X% - daily need or target need.
Bob [Prick].
Interaction costs: 4 hours debuff to Entertainment Bar, One time debuff to sleep. Maxed out social needs bar till next sleep. Decreased strain threshold till next sleep.
Table for interactions with Bob:
Number of times Bob caused debuff: 50
etc.
3 Likes