This is mostly an issue for me when going for the Master of War penance. Seems the Ogryn can get away with it but not the others.
If you go to the lfg channel on the discord people are usually available to help.
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Help with what? It’s part of the game and it’s annoying. I don’t want to find a private game to play so that I can get this huge penance that required 44 other penances to complete. It should be optional.
Please don’t snap at people for trying to help. We’re not psychics here, you just posted “private penances” without elaborating any further. 
When the game released it had a bunch of ridiculously asinine penances that required a minimum of T4+ difficulty, and were all about trolling your team. But instead of fixing the penances, Fatshark decided to make them private. I assume bc if they actually changed the penances to something reasonable, there would have been a backlash from all the ppl who had already gone through the trouble of doing them. Whatever the case, private penances became a thing and we’ve been stuck with them ever since.
Anyway I agree they need to go. Many of the penances have since been “nerfed” to something easier, and I have to believe most ppl who cared enough have done them by now. Excluding most players who don’t have dedicated teams from doing penances that are still dumb doesn’t benefit anyone. And as a rule I abhor design that expects players to jump through hoops like organizing in 3:rd party Discord etc. to mere basics in a game.
Let’s hope Fatshark does something about it at some point.
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I honestly just asked people in the Mourningstar if they wanted to help and got a party that way. Most folk are pretty chill and willing to lend a hand if you just ask.
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Asking to do a private game for any reason in a coop game is still………………………
There is your issue. That, right there.
You don’t want to do a thing, but have the thing. Well, you can’t have it both ways. You either do the thing to get the thing or you won’t get the thing.
Private Penances are Private for a reason. They are disruptive of the gameflow or are entirely impossible to do unless you have everyone on the team willing to support you.
You do not want to communicate with people, to organize a party capable of the coordination these private penances need? In that case, you won’t be getting the penance and i see no reason why the Dev should cater to the people that don’t want to put the minimum effort to clear the hurdle of talking to people.
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This is not an MMO this is not working.